If you want to be the coolest girl at a house party, chances are, you
won’t be. The reason for this is that you’re already too concerned with
what others think of you. Instead of worrying about how you'll compare
with others at the party, go there with the intention to have fun. If
you’re being friendly, interesting, and looking your best, you’re sure to stand out and make a great impression.
1. Ask if the host needs anything.
Ask if you can bring anything to the party, and then bring it. If you become consistently known for bringing cool things to parties, people will be excited when they know you’re attending.
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Know when you’re welcome.
1. Standing Out in the Crowd
Ask if you can bring anything to the party, and then bring it. If you become consistently known for bringing cool things to parties, people will be excited when they know you’re attending.
- If the party involves food, consider making something delicious that will become your signature dish that people want you to bring every time you attend a party.
2. Stand in the center of the room.
Upon your arrival to
the party, grab a few friends and make your way to the center of the
room. Standing in the center of the room will make it look like you’re
the center of attention, and it will draw people to you.
- If you arrive alone and don’t know anyone, move towards the center of the room and see if you can start a conversation with anyone, or join any existing conversations.
3. Know how to join a conversation.
Joining an ongoing
conversation between a group of people at a party can be a bit daunting.
There are a few different ways in which you can do this:[2]
- Walk up to a group, listen in for a minute or two, and then contribute if/when it makes sense to do so. Only contribute if you have something interesting to say. If you know nothing about the topic, you can ask a question instead.
- Introduce yourself to the group. If you do this while people are talking about something else, make it quick and then return the focus to the conversation they were having: “Hi I’m just wandering around introducing myself to people. I’m Jane. Please go on with the conversation!”
- Talk to one person in the group first. If you notice someone standing on the sidelines of a large group and not really engaging in conversation, introduce yourself to them and talk to them for a while before turning your attention to the group.
At a party it’s important to read people, particularly when you're trying to join conversations. If you try to join a group conversation, it’s possible that the group won’t be receptive to you.
- An unreceptive group may politely say hello and then return to their conversation without making space for you. If they do this, just move on to another group or person. Remember that it might not be personal. They could be having a somewhat private conversation that they don’t feel comfortable sharing with new people.
- Another thing that could happen is that the group receives you but doesn’t actively include you in the conversation. In this case they’ll likely make space for you and look at you and smile now and then. In this case, you need to make an effort to contribute.
5. Dress to stand out from the crowd.
If you want people
to notice you, dress to get noticed. This could mean showing off your
shoulders at a holiday party, where most people are wearing sweaters, or
wearing a brightly colored dress in a room full of little black dresses
(LBDs).
6. Smile, but not too much.
At a party you of course want to seem friendly and approachable, but smiling all the time may make you look insincere. Instead, keep a smaller smile on your face and reserve your big smiles for greetings. Smiling big when you say hi to people will make them feel special, like they’re the reason you’re smiling
- Dress to stand out, but don’t dress outside of your comfort zone. Exploring different styles is okay, but most of all it’s important to stay true to who you are.
At a party you of course want to seem friendly and approachable, but smiling all the time may make you look insincere. Instead, keep a smaller smile on your face and reserve your big smiles for greetings. Smiling big when you say hi to people will make them feel special, like they’re the reason you’re smiling
7. Be a bit touchy-feely.
Casually touching someone’s
arm while talking to them can make them feel good, leading them to like
you more. Seeing you touch that person may make others want your
attention more, too.
8. Pay attention to your posture.
Good standing posture means having a straight back, squared shoulders, your chest out, your stomach in, your feet forward, and your hips and knees in a neutral position.
9.Have open, positive body language.
Avoid shielding yourself by crossing your arms or holding your drink in front of you. If you’re holding a drink, holding it off to the side will show of your wrists and midsection, making you look open and confident.
`10. Circulate.
Don’t get stuck in one place for too long. Unless you’re deep in conversation, aim to change where you’re standing every 10 to 15 minutes. This will open you up to meeting new people and will also give any admirers the opportunity to view you from different angles.[
- If you’re not a touchy-feely person, you might skip this step. It’s important to stay true to who you are. That said, you may want to try it out even if it does feel weird at first, just to see if it’s something you’re comfortable with.
- Pay attention to who you touch. Some people do not like being touched by other people. If someone seems uncomfortable when you touch them, don’t do it again.
8. Pay attention to your posture.
Good standing posture means having a straight back, squared shoulders, your chest out, your stomach in, your feet forward, and your hips and knees in a neutral position.
- A good posture shows confidence. Just be sure that you’re not overdoing it, otherwise you may look overly stiff or snobby, especially if your chin is raised too high, with your nose up in the air.
- If you’re sitting in a chair, if possible, move one of your elbows so that it rests atop the back of the chair. This will cause you to lean back a bit and make you look more confident. A standing version of this is to lean on a counter with one arm.
Avoid shielding yourself by crossing your arms or holding your drink in front of you. If you’re holding a drink, holding it off to the side will show of your wrists and midsection, making you look open and confident.
- When you're talking to people, use positive, non-judgemental body language: smile; keep your chin down so that it doesn’t look like you’re turning your nose up at them; stand at a slight angle (a full frontal posture might feel dominating or insulting to some people); keep your palms up; and elevate your eyebrows while you talk.
- Avoid negative body language such as slouching, crossing your arms across your chest, furrowing your brow, or tightening your lips. Playing with your hair too much will make you look nervous, and make others nervous, too
Don’t get stuck in one place for too long. Unless you’re deep in conversation, aim to change where you’re standing every 10 to 15 minutes. This will open you up to meeting new people and will also give any admirers the opportunity to view you from different angles.[
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